Your baby is not even 1, and they are throwing temper tantrums. They are only a baby! Is this normal? The answer is yes.
Why children have temper tantrums
- Limited verbal skills. It is completely normal for your baby to have temper tantrums before the age of 1. One common reason for tantrums at this age is feelings of frustration about not being able to communicate their wants and needs verbally.
- I can’t do it yet. Tantrums can also happen when they want to do something but aren’t able to because they are not developmentally ready yet.
- The stress of learning. Children are naturally curious. If your baby sees something interesting or new, they are likely to try to discover what it is and how it works. If they can’t figure it out, they may become frustrated and throw a fit. Put yourself in their shoes for these situations. If you can’t figure out how to turn on your new computer, how does that make you feel?
How to tame the tantrums
- Know your baby’s tantrum triggers. Watch and learn to discover the situations that provoke your baby’s tantrum: figuring something out, being over-hungry, tiredness or overstimulation. If you know your baby has a tantrum when they are hungry, be sure to carry snacks with you when you are out and about.
- Verbalize and validate feelings. If you find your baby becoming frustrated with something, let them know their emotions are OK. For example, say, “I see you are angry that you can’t reach the toy. It is OK to feel angry. Let me help you. Let’s do this together.”
- Safety first. Your baby may have a tantrum if you take something away from them. Let them know it is OK to feel upset, but the object is not safe and they cannot play with it. Lessen this frustration for both of you by ensuring unsafe items are up and out of reach.
- Consistency. Allowing your baby to play with an item, such as a television remote, one day and not the next will only result in confusion and frustration when you take it away. Be consistent in what you allow your baby to do to avoid tantrums.
- Avoid yelling. If you start yelling when your baby is having a temper tantrum, this only reinforces that yelling is appropriate when you are frustrated. This does not teach your baby how to handle frustration. Keep your cool and know that you are your baby’s best role model in learning how to deal with frustration.
- Bring calm to the storm. If your baby is unable to calm themselves while throwing a tantrum, give them a minute to scream and kick. Then ask in a calm voice if you can hold them. Your calm voice and calm presence can help teach them how to calm down when frustrated. Frustration is a part of life, and learning how to calm down when frustrated is an important skill for your baby to learn as they grow older.
For more help with challenging behaviors, contact our parenting educators at parenting@sanfordhealth.org or (605) 312-8390.
Learn more
- How to promote social and emotional health in youth
- The roller coaster of toddlerhood
- Model good manners for toddlers
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Posted In Children's, Family Medicine, Health Information, Parenting
