Going into next year with renewed resolve to live healthier is a common theme during the holiday season. When the calendar turns over to the new year, the new me is taking over this town.
Emy Carlson is a Sanford Health behavioral therapist who can help you convert that initial enthusiasm into long-term lifestyle changes that make a difference.
Being sensitive to the ways the brain works on your behalf – and just as importantly, when you’re better off ignoring where it wants to take you – can increase your success rate in finding the incentive to sustain new habits.
“It is important to recognize the benefits of establishing smart goals and understanding the art of motivation,” Carlson said, summarizing where our better health habits often sink or swim. “They are pivotal in creating New Year’s resolutions.”
Carlson admits to being “a neuroscience nerd” who can walk us through how our brains work and translate it into summoning motivation more consistently. Knowing a little more about how most of us are wired can set the foundation for a lasting plan.
The traditional path
It goes like this:
Photo by Sanford Health
Most New Year’s habits don’t fail because people are undisciplined, lazy or incapable. They fail because the process of traditional goal setting often creates a behavioral health obstacle before you even begin.
The moment someone declares a major resolution – I’m going to lose weight, improve my mental health, get my life organized – they frequently experience an immediate surge of shame about where they are now. It is joined by anxiety.
That combination alone can stop a resolution at the front door.
“We all want to have this grand, ‘I’m going to make my life better’ choice,” Carlson explained. “And then we overshoot it because we’re not being realistic. It is not attainable.”
Our brains prioritize survival, which means we instinctively focus on risks, barriers and a sense of not measuring up. When someone sets a large, abstract goal, the brain immediately highlights everything that could go wrong.
The result: Avoidance, self-doubt and a sense of being overwhelmed. Your resolutions are often a fading memory by February.
What to do instead
It is crucial to find your smart goals and tap into the motivational magic of dopamine, the neurotransmitter and hormone that ultimately guides your brain into deciding whether something is worth doing.
Smart goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. In conversations with patients, Carlson will explain why they’re much more effective than the sprawling and vague targets we like to take into a new year.
“We should be striving for excellence, not perfection,” Carlson said. “When we fall off the horse, anxiety naturally shows up. It’s often a signal that something isn’t aligning with our core values or how we’re approaching consistency within our New Year’s resolutions or goals. Growth isn’t about chasing ever-changing goals – it’s about building realistic, challenging and sustainable daily habits.”
Carlson emphasized that daily habits are areas we can control, shape and modify to fit into our lives in a realistic and supportive way.
“Make it easier on yourself,” she said. “Change can feel uncomfortable at first, but your brain learns through repetition – so use that to your advantage. When we work with our brains instead of against them, consistency becomes more natural, and growth becomes more sustainable.”
In addition to our brain’s determined effort to fill us with anxiety, the world around us tends to work against us in establishing good habits. We are inundated by distractions that promise constant and immediate comfort, much of them centered around smartphone use. This makes it harder for the brain to tolerate discomfort for long enough to take action.
“Simple internal cues like ‘do it now’ in repetition can be powerful when paired with an understanding of how motivation works,” Carlson said. “Repeating ‘do it now’ interrupts overthinking, reduces avoidance and initiates movement – which is where motivation begins.”
Guiding our brains
As Carlson explained, the brain does not evaluate whether a repeated claim is true or false. Instead, it responds to repetition. Repeated thoughts become familiar and that familiarity is what becomes real. A repeated positive phrase as simple as “do it now” can shape responses over time and strengthen neural pathways that support action rather than avoidance.
“The solution is not to try harder, it’s work with your brain,” Carlson said. “This starts with micro-wins.”
Micro-wins – small, realistic, achievable actions – create a sense of progress. They can build self-confidence because they generate quick, tangible rewards.
On this path, a small action leads to a small success. This gets the dopamine flowing, which in turn leads to increased likelihood of repeating this behavior.
“Positivity and momentum don’t happen automatically,” Carlson said. “They have to be intentionally trained.”
Bypassing hurdles
Mindfulness is the practice of focusing on the present moment. Using it to summon a sense of gratitude – that is, with intention regularly recognizing and appreciating the good things in your life – can help you avoid your brain’s inclination to seek out excuses in establishing new habits.
“Mindfulness fits naturally into this process as a grounding tool that’s often overlooked,” Carlson said. “In a culture driven by instant gratification, mindfulness helps us stay present instead of getting pulled into stress or negative thought loops.”
Carlson recommends intentionally focusing on positive moments or experiences at least three times a day. This practice helps strengthen neural pathways associated with emotional regulation and resilience.
“When we consistently bring awareness to what’s going well,” she said. “We’re supporting the brain’s ability to reinforce healthier patterns and build on the areas we want to grow.”
Even when people set realistic goals, getting off track is part of being human and important to acknowledge. What derails progress isn’t the slip itself – it’s the cognitive dissonance and all-or-nothing thinking that follows.
“One missed workout or one off-day can get us thinking, ‘I already messed up, so what’s the point?’” Carlson said. “That’s not failure – it’s a cognitive distortion. Humans are wired to make errors. We can strive for excellence, not perfection. Change isn’t about perfection; it’s about persistence. Long-term success comes from the tenacity to return to the goal path, even after a mistake.”
Motivational path
It is important to realize that motivation comes after an action. Carlson describes it to her patients in three steps.
Step 1: The emotional reason – the “why”
Let’s say you have decided to get healthier because you want to be more active with your children.
That’s the why, or the emotional reason for wanting to change.
“This is the part that gives meaning to change,” Carlson said. “It’s personal. It matters. And it’s what gets the idea started. Remember, focus on realistic, consistent daily habit changes.”
Step 2: The action
You decide to show up at the gym three times a week. At first, this may feel forced or uncomfortable – and that’s completely normal. Motivation hasn’t kicked in yet, and that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It simply means you’re in the action phase.
“This is where many people get stuck, because they expect motivation to come first,” Carlson said. “But real change doesn’t work that way. You just have to take an action and most likely it will be forced, not natural. Grab the keys and head to the door with the intention to go to the gym, put on the shoes and start walking, etc.”
Step 3: The brain’s response
Shortly after completing an action, your brain releases neurochemicals associated with reward, motivation and learning. These create a sense of accomplishment, confidence and forward momentum.
That feeling – “I did it” – is motivation.
Motivation doesn’t come before action. Motivation often comes because of action.
When this cycle repeats, your brain begins to associate effort with positive outcomes. Over time, this rewiring helps make healthy behaviors feel more natural and sustainable.
Getting to the point where you actually enjoy the feeling of following through is where motivation truly lives – and that’s what helps habits stick.
“When we shift from overwhelming resolutions to realistic goals, mindfulness, daily gratitude, consistent micro-wins and intentional urgency – and when we allow room for human error without abandoning the process – we build confidence, resilience and sustainable momentum,” Carlson said. “That’s what makes behavior change stick. Real growth comes from small, steady steps and the willingness to get back up when life happens.”
Rewiring your brain in this way can be the beginning of a life-changing process and does not only pertain to New Year’s-related goals. Sanford Health offers a range of behavioral health services to support a journey that can start with your primary care provider and take place in person, by phone or through virtual visits.
“It’s such a powerful experience to see someone make changes for themselves, reach a goal and realize they can do it again,” Carlson said. “It’s a beautiful thing to be part of that success.”
Learn more
- How to get past New Year’s resolution ‘quitters day’
- Fun ideas to get your family moving
- 3 New Year’s resolutions athletes can work on this year
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Posted In Behavioral Health, Healthy Living, Nutrition, Weight Loss
