Becoming a grandparent can bring anticipation of a heartwarming role with a new phase of affection and laughter with children. A grandparent’s role includes the same types of joys they had as parents, but the responsibilities and decision making will be dramatically different.
Grandparents have their own parenting history that includes how they were raised as well as the way they raised their own children. When it comes to the parenting methods used, parents and grandparents may not feel the same about everything.
Acknowledging their parenting history and that no parent gets everything right is an important first step for grandparents to take. Then they are prepared to start defining how they can be the best grandparent they can be in cooperation with the parents of their grandchildren.
Check-in questions for supportive grandparents
Grandparents should check in regularly with parents with a few questions:
- What things can I do that are most helpful to you?
- Would you like to set up regularly scheduled times for us to visit or for the grandchildren to come visit us?
- What activities can I do with the grandchildren that would be fun for them?
- Is there anything really important to you I should not do with the grandchildren or expose them to?
- What routines are the most important for me to keep when I am taking care of the grandchildren?
Some of the answers to these questions might surprise grandparents. If parents want grandparents to be in their lives and the lives of their grandchildren, that is great news already. The same can be said about grandparents wanting to support parents when a new baby is brought home.
Conversely, the relationship between parents and grandparents can become tense and bitter. It is possible to create a relationship full of love and support. This takes communication, honesty and respect. Needs of the parents and availability of grandparents will shift overtime, so this is an ongoing conversation.
Respecting the boundaries set by the parents, helping out where needed, and using the strengths of the grandparents to make time with grandchildren feel special are all the ingredients to build a long-term, close relationship three generations can enjoy together.
Learn more
- Grandparents raising grandchildren: Resources to know
- Caring for grandparent leads to calling as a nurse
- MN nursing home is a hub of intergenerational activities
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Posted In Children's, Family Medicine, Parenting
