Do you remember your childhood security object? Maybe it was a blanket, or a special stuffed animal that you cuddled with at bedtime. It could be a dolly with soft hair or a pillow with a velvety texture.
Your child may not choose a blanket; they may prefer a soft toy instead. Children often make the choice of a security item between 8 to 12 months of age and often keep that item for years to come. When your child is tired, it will help soothe them to sleep. Whey they are upset, it will comfort them. If they are separated from you, it will reassure them.
These comfort items help children feel like they are home and taken care of. Security objects such as blankets or dolls are part of the emotional support system that children often need in their early years.
The emotional transition from dependence to independence
These special items are called transitional objects. They help children move from dependence to independence. Usually these are items that feel good to touch – they are soft and cuddly. And most importantly they are familiar. This item that your child grows to love has their scent on it and it reminds them of the comfort of their room or home. It makes them feel like things are going to be OK.
You may hear that these types of items are a sign of weakness or insecurity but in reality, it is quite the opposite. These items can be incredibly helpful to you as a parent and very comforting to your child in times of need or stress.
Do I need a duplicate?
Sometimes these special “lovey” items get dirty or lost. You can make things easier by having two identical security objects.
This allows you to wash or clean one while the other is being used or supply a quick replacement if one gets misplaced. If the item is a large blanket, consider cutting it in half as your child has little sense of size and won’t notice.
What about thumb sucking?
Some parents worry that transitional objects promote thumb sucking. Sometimes that can happen.
However, thumb and finger sucking is another normal and natural way for young children to comfort themselves. They will gradually give up both the transitional object and the sucking as they mature and find other ways to cope with stress.
For more information on social and emotional development in young children, register for the parenting class “Help Me Manage My Feelings.”
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Posted In Children's, Family Medicine, Parenting
