Marvin Miller grew up on a farm near Parker, South Dakota, and then farmed the land himself after his mother and father retired. He married Paula, his wife of 40 years, in 1984, and on those same acres they raised three children.
Traditionally this time of year has been about getting the crops out of the earth for Marvin. The harvest, which demanded that the whole family pitch in, was much more a way of life for the Millers than it was a job.
Glioblastoma multiforme, an aggressive type of brain tumor with a difficult prognosis, has kept Marvin from embracing the season like he used to. He is being cared for at Sanford Health’s Ava’s House, an acute-level, inpatient hospice facility in Sioux Falls, that provides 24-hour nursing care to patients.
The Ava’s House team ensures patients and families have a place to turn when symptoms and pain are beyond the scope of care provided in the hospital, long-term care facilities or in-home settings.
When Marvin was asked if he had anything he wanted to see or to do before his health would not permit it, he admitted – after considerable prodding – that he would like to see the farm and crops and get another chance to take a tour of Parker, a town of about 1,200 a half-hour southwest of Sioux Falls.
Arranging a trip
Robin Swenson is the licensed social worker at Ava’s House who would often stop by and have conversations with Marvin and Paula. She regularly asked Marvin if he had any last wishes, and he would always tell her he couldn’t think of anything he really needed to do.
Marvin began mentioning a possible trip to the farm to his wife, however. Paula relayed her husband’s feelings to Swenson and they came up with a plan.
“He said, ‘In a perfect world I would love to go back to the farm and see it one last time and just be there,’” Swenson said. “He said he’d love to drive through the town he grew up in but told me he didn’t think it was realistic because he wasn’t mobile anymore.”
The staff at Ava’s House quickly began finding a way to make it happen. With financial assistance from the Sanford Health Foundation, they were able to rent a wheelchair van that the Millers could use to make the trip.
“One thing led to another, and we were able to make it work,” Swenson said. “Marvin and Paula just teared up when I told them about it. It was very meaningful for the staff, as well.”
On Sept. 14, in the specially equipped van, the family – sons Matt and Trevor, daughter Meghan, wife Paula, Marvin’s sister Marilyn and Marvin – made the trip back.
“It was just nice to go back out and see the farm again and see the crops,” Paula said. “Marv was interested in seeing what the crops looked like – just seeing how everything on the farm looked. Then we took a tour around the town of Parker. It was great getting together with the kids and hearing the memories.”
Photo by Nicole Otis, Sanford Health
Making new memories
Those memories included taking turns riding on the bean buggy they used to spray for weeds in the beanfields. They talked about feeding the calves with a bottle and doing a lot of the same jobs Marvin had done when he was growing up on the same land.
“We talked about a lot of the different chores they didn’t like doing when they were younger and now appreciate the fact that they did them,” Paula said. “They talked about learning to drive the tractor, which I never did. I was a town girl and I left driving the tractor to them.”
The staff at Ava’s House is always looking for ways to make sure “little wishes come true,” Swenson said, with the trip for Marvin just one example. In their conversations with residents, when something comes up that is feasible, they work to make it happen.
“We truly feel like working here is a calling,” Swenson said. “We do ask those hard questions. We’re dealing with people at the end of their life and helping them process those feelings. Is there any unfinished business? Are there any last wishes that you want to come true? We can’t always do it, but we try.”
The Millers are grateful the Ava’s House staff made the effort to help Marvin at a difficult time. Just as farming goes outside the scope of a normal job, so does caring for people at Ava’s House.
“We’re very appreciative of the staff at Ava’s House,” Paula said. “They’re wonderful people. They set it up and organized the whole trip for us. We got to share a day at the farm with our kids.”
Learn more
- Cancer patient, 12, gets one last fishing trip — at hospital
- Hospice providers make patients feel like family
- Medical field to hay fields: The life of a rural doctor
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Posted In Cancer, Foundation, Hospice, Rural Health
