You might not immediately think of an assisted living community as a place to find love, but at Northwinds at Good Samaritan Society in International Falls, Minnesota, that’s exactly what happened.
Shirley Anderson, age 88, and Henry Carey, age 80, hadn’t spoken much in the weeks after Carey moved in. Until Anderson started looking to decorate her room.
“I wanted a bouquet of cattails,” Anderson says. “Henry was around us and we said, ‘Do you have any idea where we could get some of the thin ones?’ And he said, ‘Yes, in the ditch outside my house.’ So he said, ‘Come on with me and I’ll take you out there.’”
A few weeks later, Carey asked a group of ladies if anyone wanted to go to church with him. Anderson said yes.
“I started going every Sunday,” Anderson says. “And the third week he took my hand during church. And then I knew that something was going to transpire.”
“She seemed to be really interested in what the pastor was talking about, and I was too,” says Carey. “I think it was God’s will that I just reached over and took her hand. That kind of set things up for both of us.”
Falling for each other
Even in their 80s, they still felt those familiar sparks of young love.
When asked if she got butterflies in her stomach as Carey touched her hand for the first time, Anderson laughs.
“Yep!” she says. “You’re kind of anticipating it, and yet you don’t want to get your hopes up in case it doesn’t materialize. And when it does happen, you just think, ‘Hmm, that’s nice.’”
They even went out on the town, because Carey still has a car.
“There’s no other man here that drives,” Anderson says. “So I get out more than most of the other girls do.”
These two now spend their days together. They watch TV in Anderson’s room, play bingo, or take part in one of their favorite activities.
“We are good at taking naps,” Anderson says laughing. “Very good at that.”
Carey also makes crafts for Anderson, and other folks around Northwinds, with his scroll saw. He has made napkin holders, crosses, and even a nativity scene. But for Anderson he provides a whole lot more.
“I have macular (degeneration),” Anderson says. “I can see your body, but I cannot see a distinct face.”
So when Anderson asked for those cattails, suddenly things came into focus for Carey.
“She’d be cutting something with her knife and fork, and the knife would be upside down,” Carey says. “I thought, Henry, you should be this lady’s eyes for her.”
Just what the other needs
Carey now helps Anderson at bingo, or at mealtime, or whenever they go for a walk.
“She’ll take my hand and then we’ll be walking, and I’ll say, ‘Shirley, there’s a curb here. You’re going to step down.’”
You don’t need perfect vision though to see that they love being around each other.
“Shirley and I, we just came together,” Carey says. “I think it was God’s plan for us to meet. She needed help to see, and I needed somebody to talk to.”
Now they’re together each and every day at Good Samaritan, helping each other through their golden years side by side.
Learn more
- Nursing home sets scene for later-in-life love story
- Podcast: How to begin the talk about assisted living
- Companionship a common thread at assisted living location
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Posted In Senior Services
